Thursday, April 14, 2005

Due to Reader Complaints, Here Is Real News, Not Scary News


"I Scream, You Scream, President Bush Screams for 'Ice Cream!"


Today President George W. Bush followed his dinner with two scoops of Mama Lucy’s Chocolate Ice Cream. This is not a new thing. Since his inauguration, the President has really enjoyed ice cream a lot!

“Ice cream is the President’s little pick-me-up,” said press secretary Scott McClellan, “He just needs something sweet after dinner. Ice cream is indeed sweet and often consumed after dinner.”

Wow. Real news. Very important. Takes up a fair deal of NYT real estate to publish. None of that mamby pamby war stuff the stuffy London Times ran today. Nope. This is American news! Pick you up, go, team, go---great news to digest! Forget your worries, life is good except the poor President who spends much of his time mindlessly going in circles on bikes, will now have to cycle an extra hour each day! Well, in between inspecting his brand new nuclear bomb shelters and private chit chat with his of State....Bush will be eating icecream!

America stands proud. We can overcome all barriers! The sky is the limit...etc! Citizens, pay no attention to nay sayers, eat icecream (and cake)!

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