Play tennis with Wally and Woody!
By Robin Givhan
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, April 15, 2005; Page C01
John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for ambassador to the United Nations, desperately needs a haircut. It does not have to be a $600 Sally Hershberger cut. Bolton simply needs the basics. Tidy the curling, unruly locks at the nape of his neck, tame the volume at the crown, reel in the wings flapping above his ears, and broker a compromise between his sand-colored mop and his snow-colored mustache.
He needs to do this, not because he should be minding the recommendations of men's fashion magazines or grooming experts but because when he settled in before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee this week to answer questions about his record, his philosophy and his intentions at the U.N., he looked as though he did not even have enough respect for the proceedings to bother combing his hair -- or, for that matter, straightening his tie, or wearing a shirt that did not put his neck in a chokehold. Bolton was one wrinkled suit away from being an insolent mess.
OK. This is "A Queer Eye for a Neo Con Guy" time. Why do these neo nutcases look like they came out of a Woody Woodpecker cartoon? Are we doomed to go into WWIII following these tasteless, clueless people? Forget Bolton's ugly mug, look at Condi's bizarre hair styling. Like, that went out when the Beatles broke up!
I complained earlier about the vapid, stupid, useless waste of time and space of the media and here, on the front page of the Washington Post, they outdo parody yet again. I was agast as our media focused entirely and totally on Condi's dominatrix high heel boots when she was going around conspiring to create war. Now this! Look, during the Clinton impeachment debate in the Senate, I was on the web doing running commentary and 90% of it was "Oh, look at those ugly TIES!" and "Where do these guys go for haircuts? A poodle parlor?" and other snarky and true remarks.
Our ruler's dog and pony show humans are ridiculous looking. This is probably deliberate just like Hitler's mustache was deliberately stupid looking. Who would think the German people would start WWII following a man who looked like Charlie Chaplain?
Well, they did. Lesson: do not follow hideously dressed men with ugly ties and uglier mustaches. They are dangerous.